'cause it isn't every day that you get to give

"A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a song."

And any man who knows a thing knows
He knows not a damn, damn thing at all
And every time I felt the hurt
And I felt the givin' gettin' me up off the wall

I'm just gonna take a minute and let it ride
I'm just gonna take a minute and let it breeze
I'm just gonna take a minute and let it ride
I'm just gonna take a minute and let it breeze

How did Mandela get the will to surpass the everyday
When injustice had him caged and trapped in every way?
How did Gandhi ever withstand the hunger strikes and all?
Didn't do it to gain power or money if I recall

It's a gift, I guess, I'll pass it on
Mother thinks it'll lift the stress of Babylon
Mother knows, my mother she suffered blows
I don't know how we survived such violent episodes

I was so worried and hurt to see you bleed
But as soon as you came out the hospital you gave me sweets
Yeah, they try to take you from me
But you still only gave 'em some prayers and sympathy

Dear mama, you helped me write this
By showing me to give is priceless

And any man who knows a thing knows
He knows not a damn, damn thing at all
And every time I felt the hurt
And I felt the givin' gettin' me up off the wall

I'm just gonna take a minute and let it ride
I'm just gonna take a minute and let it breeze
I'm just gonna take a minute and let it ride
I'm just gonna take a minute and let it breeze

All I can say is the worst is over now
We can serve the hard times, divorce, it's over now
They try to keep us out but they doors is open now
My nigga, Akon is gettin' awards and covers now

This is K'naan and still reppin' the S
Comin' out of Mogadishu and still draped in the mess
And no matter how we strong, homie
It ain't easy comin' out of where we from, homie

And that's the reason why, I could never phony
Tell 'em the truth is what my dead homies told me
Ooh yeah, I take inspiration from the most heinous of situations
Creating medication out my own tribulations

Dear Africa, you helped me write this
By showing me to give is priceless

And any man who knows a thing knows
He knows not a damn, damn thing at all
And every time I felt the hurt
And I felt the givin' gettin' me up off the wall

I'm just gonna take a minute and let it ride
I'm just gonna take a minute and let it breeze
I'm just gonna take a minute and let it ride
I'm just gonna take a minute and let it breeze

Nothing is perfect man, that's what the world is
All I know is I'm enjoying today
You know 'cause it isn't every day that you get to give

And any man who knows a thing knows
He knows not a damn, damn thing at all
And every time I felt the hurt
And I felt the givin' gettin' me up off the wall

I'm just gonna take a minute and let it ride
I'm just gonna take a minute and let it breeze
I'm just gonna take a minute and let it ride
I'm just gonna take a minute and let it breeze

I got nothin' to complain about
You know where I'm from
You know where I'm at, so...

I'm just gonna take a minute and let it ride
I'm just gonna take a minute and let it breeze
I'm just gonna take a minute and let it ride
I'm just gonna take a minute and let it breeze

Waving Flag by K'naan

First of all - where have I been? The first time I heard this song was last night on the radio and as I listened to the words tears started streaming from my eyes. I'm sitting here having listened to it again and again tears are streaming. (Remember I am pregnant) This song is by K'naan: "Born in Somalia, K'naan spent his childhood in Mogadishu and lived there during the Somali Civil War, which began in 1991. When he was 13, K'naan, his mother, and his three siblings left their homeland and eventually settled in Toronto."(wiki) This song was the offical 2010 World Cup anthem and was bought by Coca Cola. It was huge (again how did I miss it?) Please take three minutes to listen to it here (I know the time count says it's five but the song ends at around three.) I just think this is such a beautiful, powerful song - the music is fantastic and those words "when i am older, i will be stronger, they'll call me freedom just like a waving flag" I know this is a grown man singing but those words seem as though they come from a young boy or girl who knows they've been wronged, knows that things should be better for them and believes with the strength of that chorus that one day they will be old enough to fight back, to make things right and to bring freedom to the others who he/she knows is suffering alongside them. When I think of all the children around the world who do suffer I hope a song like this plays in their hearts.

Numa Numa

I fell in love with this the first time I saw it a few years ago. For some reason I recently started thinking about this clip and have enjoyed it probably a few too many times on youtube today. There's just something about the (then 18 year old) Numa Numa guy that brings a smile to my face. How did he even find that Romanian pop song in the first place? He wasn't trying to sell anything, or accomplish anything productive. He was just young, interested, funny, joyful....things I miss being as I trudge through this pregnancy. I remember driving in Aberdeen (Scotland) one day and I was either pregnant or had just recently given birth and I was tired. I drove through a round about that had a tall statue in the middle of it. There was an orange traffic pylon on top of the statue's head. My first thought was WHO? Who in the world has enough energy in their lives to take the time to somehow climb a statue and put a pylon on it's head. Who has the energy to even think of the idea in the first place? And then I thought - a young person. A young person with so much excess energy, interest and humour that they turn to giving statues funny hats and dancing to obscure Romanian pop songs. I love young people for that. I love my own little young sons for a family dance party this evening that Jordan and I never would have had on our own. We danced to ABBA, and Queen and Chantilly Lace and it was nice to be apart of something young, interested, funny and joyful.

"C'mon people now, smile on your brother..."

noted astronomer and director of the Hayden Planetarium Neil DeGrasse Tyson is quoted:

“We are all connected:
To each other, biologically;
To the Earth, chemically;
To the rest of the Universe, atomically.”

"You Are Not Forgotten" President Dieter F. Uchtdorf

well, I didn't rage against the dying of the light...but garden tomatoes are pretty close

Today I yelled at my boys for throwing our garden tomatoes on the deck. The last time they did that I just looked at the mess, felt sad and ignored it - I was too sick to do anything about it.

Sad, how this sub par performance as a mother is somehow a triumph in my eyes.
You go into motherhood thinking it's going to be a certain way and then you find yourself in this bizarre Alice in Wonderland world that seems crazy and almost impossible to navigate because all too often it seems as though you never know where you are - are you falling down or up? Will you grow or shrink with your choices? And after balling last night while watching "Parenthood" I feel madder than the Mad Hatter with my pregnancy hormones turning me into the craziest woman I know. "Clean cup, clean cup, move down, move down, clean cup, clean cup, move down."

Cause there's a million ways to be...

Heard this song on the radio a while ago and it kind of stuck with me. It just made me happy to hear it for some reason.


This reminds me of a quote I put up on my wall when I was in university:

"Never be afraid to tread the path alone. Know your path and follow it wherever it may lead you. Do not feel you have to follow in someone else's footsteps."

~Eileen Caddy in "Footprints On The Path"

I think goodness is not in following someone else's lead OR in blazing your own trail but in knowing when in your life it's appropriate to do either one.

I don't have feathers, no beak either and I never eat worms.

Self Pity - D.H. Lawrence

I never saw a wild thing
sorry for itself.
A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough
without ever having felt sorry for itself.



I, however, am not a bird. During this time in my life, I feel sorry for myself every single day. The upside is that I'm not wallowing in it as much as I wallowed the past two pregnancies. That's been good. I wish I could transform myself into some rough and tough old bird like what I imagine cave women were like. I am not a bird and I am not a cave woman and so I suffer and feel a little sorry for myself. So, this is mostly not good, however, there is a little nugget from these patches of suffering: I understand and respect the place of suffering in our human experience. I'm not saying I'm out looking for punches - I just no longer mentally fight with WHY?? What's the point of this senseless suffering?? Because I now see and appreciate how suffering can bring people closer together.

Example: today my husband took a day off work to take over at home for me so I could just rest. I'm almost crying as I write because this gesture meant so much to me. And my heart is filled with love and gratitude for him and my marriage is better for this. And all that thanks to my little patch of suffering.

But I'd leave my little patch of suffering in a second if it was offered to me - like I said, I'm no bird.

I HATE morning sickness.

I'm in it. In the thick of "morning" sickness. I have about six or seven weeks to go of this (if this pregnancy is like the last two). I'm trying to keep my spirits up through this miserable time. There are a few things that help. One of those things is that there is a window on the wall of my shower and out that window I can see my neighbours' apple tree. It's not a crab apple tree - I can see big lovely apples when I shower and for some reason that sight seems very hopeful and happy to me. Also, I have some lemon oil and when I smell it - for a few seconds - my head is full of freshness and optimism. Another thing that brings a waft of temporary relief is hearing my boys laugh together - and I remember why I'm doing this in the first place. I'm not very good at suffering, I know that. I know some people who are pros, it seems as though they don't even flinch in the face of pain and suffering. Me, I crawl through it on my hands and knees hanging on for dear life to apple trees, lemon oil and laughter.

love is in the air

This is a lovely little song that some old roommates and I sang at a wedding for a former roommate of ours this past week-end. We changed the words in the chorus to:

"You, two and the candles will be all that you need. Your faces bathed in the firelight will be all you want to see. And he'll still sing you a song, to last the whole night long. You, two and the candles..."

I've been to a lot of weddings this year, three this summer. Different couples, different dynamics, different reasons why they love who they love. I've loved witnessing these declarations of love, hope and commitment. With each heartfelt kiss at the end of the ceremony, it seems as though there's no way their beautiful love won't last forever.
Enter real life + time.
It seems to be getting tougher and tougher for people to stay together, stay committed, and stay fighting in the trenches of life together. I don't know why some make it and some don't. It's been nice though to have been reminded this summer of what a blessing it is to be married, to have someone by your side, and to have the opportunity to create a little piece of heaven on earth with your partner. Commited love can create so much beauty and happiness in our lives. So if you're reading this, go give your hubby(or wifey) some love, perhaps you could light some candles as well.