Was I really just dreaming?

Last night I had a dream. I was in the state I am in now - pregnant and struggling - and a man came over to my house. My house in the dream was different than the one I'm in now. The house in my dream had an unusual amount of windows and a high ceiling. The man in my dream didn't ask but just brought over a ladder, bucket and cleaning supplies and got to work cleaning all of my windows. In my dream I was so grateful and was delighted to see that as he cleaned, the sun was able to shine brighter and brighter into my home. When he finished, he came to me and told me that he had been given a gift of service himself and that he was told he needed to make payment by washing some one's windows. He then said that it was now my turn to "pay it forward" and gave me a little card that had my assignment written on it. All it said was "give lots of hugs."

Let it go, let your sword of vengence rest...

This is the kind of song that's so beautiful to listen to especially while sitting up high on a rooftop after having swept one too many chimneys.

My guess is Mary Wollstonecraft would have not been a Twihard...just a guess.

I saw the movie Breaking Dawn last night. I thought the movie was pretty fun and I had a good time. I especially enjoyed the enthusiasm of the audience (almost all female) who whooped and hollered when their favorite man came on the screen. Women seem to love this story despite how ashamed some are made to feel when they admit "I love the twilight series".

Over 200 years ago, Mary Wollstonecraft (27 April 1759 – 10 September 1797) an eighteenth-century British writer, philosopher, and advocate of women's rights wrote the following:

" Another instance of that feminine weakness of character, often produced by a confined education, is a romantic twist of the mind, which has been very properly termed sentimental. Women subjected by ignorance to their sensations, and only taught to look for happiness in love, refine on sensual feelings, and adopt metaphysical notions respecting that passion... These are the women who are amused by the reveries of the stupid novelists, who knowing little of human nature, work up stale tales, and describe meretricious scenes, all retailed in a sentimental jargon, which....tend to corrupt the taste.... Unable to grasp anything great...they [are] necessarily dependent on the novelist for amusement.... When, therefore, I advise my sex not to read such flimsy works, it is to induce them to read something superior... In fact the female mind has been so totally neglected, that knowledge was only to be acquired from this muddy source, till from reading novels some women of superior talents learned to despise them."
- exerpt from A Vindication of the Rights of Women by Mary Wollstonecraft

That was two hundred years ago. She was fighting for women's rights; writing that women were driven to sentiment only because they didn't have the proper access to education or the motivation to read higher lit because of their extreme limitations due to their sex. Also that "Females, in fact, denied all political privileges, and not allowed, as married women...a civil existence, have their attention naturally drawn from the interest of the whole community to that of the minute parts." Yet there I sat, 2011, after having completed a degree in political science with other educated, well read women watching and for the most part enjoying being entertained by a story very much dedicated to sentiment. Women are more educated now then ever before and Twilight - dripping with sentiment and cheese - is hugely successful. I wonder if Mary is rolling over in her grave at this phenomenon.

I think Mary was right in encouraging women to read challenging texts however I think she may have been misguided in trying to purport the idea that women's fondness of sentiment is a weakness. Sometimes I wonder if in the pursuit of equality, women have shamed one another out of indulging in sentiment and taking serious note of their emotional selves because if it's not important to men - it shouldn't be important to women. I'm finding with being a mother that understanding my emotional self is hugely important in my job as their primary caregiver - an asset, not a liability, not a weakness, not something to be ashamed of. Being pregnant, my emotions are very much at the forefront of my life and my gut tells me there might be a good reason for it.

what are you storing for winter?

Winter Stores - by Charlotte Bronte

We take from life one little share,
And say that this shall be
A space, redeemed from toil and care,
From tears and sadness free.

And, haply, Death unstrings his bow,
And Sorrow stands apart,
And, for a little while, we know
The sunshine of the heart.

Existence seems a summer eve,
Warm, soft, and full of peace,
Our free, unfettered feelings give
The soul its full release.

A moment, then, it takes the power
To call up thoughts that throw
Around that charmed and hallowed hour,
This life’s divinest glow.

But Time, though viewlessly it flies,
And slowly, will not stay;
Alike, through clear and clouded skies,
It cleaves its silent way.

Alike the bitter cup of grief,
Alike the draught of bliss,
Its progress leaves but moment brief
For baffled lips to kiss

The sparkling draught is dried away,
The hour of rest is gone,
And urgent voices, round us, say,
“'Ho, lingerer, hasten on!”

And has the soul, then, only gained,
From this brief time of ease,
A moment’s rest, when overstrained,
One hurried glimpse of peace?

No; while the sun shone kindly o’er us,
And flowers bloomed round our feet,—
While many a bud of joy before us
Unclosed its petals sweet,—

An unseen work within was plying;
Like honey-seeking bee,
From flower to flower, unwearied, flying,
Laboured one faculty,—

Thoughtful for Winter’s future sorrow,
Its gloom and scarcity;
Prescient to-day, of want to-morrow,
Toiled quiet Memory.

’Tis she that from each transient pleasure
Extracts a lasting good;
’Tis she that finds, in summer, treasure
To serve for winter’s food.

And when Youth’s summer day is vanished,
And Age brings Winter’s stress,
Her stores, with hoarded sweets replenished,
Life’s evening hours will bless.

Elizabeth Gilbert: A new way to think about creativity

Even if you hated Eat, Pray, Love - this talk is so encouraging to anyone who strives to create...

Worth watching to the end.

'cause it isn't every day that you get to give

"A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a song."

And any man who knows a thing knows
He knows not a damn, damn thing at all
And every time I felt the hurt
And I felt the givin' gettin' me up off the wall

I'm just gonna take a minute and let it ride
I'm just gonna take a minute and let it breeze
I'm just gonna take a minute and let it ride
I'm just gonna take a minute and let it breeze

How did Mandela get the will to surpass the everyday
When injustice had him caged and trapped in every way?
How did Gandhi ever withstand the hunger strikes and all?
Didn't do it to gain power or money if I recall

It's a gift, I guess, I'll pass it on
Mother thinks it'll lift the stress of Babylon
Mother knows, my mother she suffered blows
I don't know how we survived such violent episodes

I was so worried and hurt to see you bleed
But as soon as you came out the hospital you gave me sweets
Yeah, they try to take you from me
But you still only gave 'em some prayers and sympathy

Dear mama, you helped me write this
By showing me to give is priceless

And any man who knows a thing knows
He knows not a damn, damn thing at all
And every time I felt the hurt
And I felt the givin' gettin' me up off the wall

I'm just gonna take a minute and let it ride
I'm just gonna take a minute and let it breeze
I'm just gonna take a minute and let it ride
I'm just gonna take a minute and let it breeze

All I can say is the worst is over now
We can serve the hard times, divorce, it's over now
They try to keep us out but they doors is open now
My nigga, Akon is gettin' awards and covers now

This is K'naan and still reppin' the S
Comin' out of Mogadishu and still draped in the mess
And no matter how we strong, homie
It ain't easy comin' out of where we from, homie

And that's the reason why, I could never phony
Tell 'em the truth is what my dead homies told me
Ooh yeah, I take inspiration from the most heinous of situations
Creating medication out my own tribulations

Dear Africa, you helped me write this
By showing me to give is priceless

And any man who knows a thing knows
He knows not a damn, damn thing at all
And every time I felt the hurt
And I felt the givin' gettin' me up off the wall

I'm just gonna take a minute and let it ride
I'm just gonna take a minute and let it breeze
I'm just gonna take a minute and let it ride
I'm just gonna take a minute and let it breeze

Nothing is perfect man, that's what the world is
All I know is I'm enjoying today
You know 'cause it isn't every day that you get to give

And any man who knows a thing knows
He knows not a damn, damn thing at all
And every time I felt the hurt
And I felt the givin' gettin' me up off the wall

I'm just gonna take a minute and let it ride
I'm just gonna take a minute and let it breeze
I'm just gonna take a minute and let it ride
I'm just gonna take a minute and let it breeze

I got nothin' to complain about
You know where I'm from
You know where I'm at, so...

I'm just gonna take a minute and let it ride
I'm just gonna take a minute and let it breeze
I'm just gonna take a minute and let it ride
I'm just gonna take a minute and let it breeze

Waving Flag by K'naan

First of all - where have I been? The first time I heard this song was last night on the radio and as I listened to the words tears started streaming from my eyes. I'm sitting here having listened to it again and again tears are streaming. (Remember I am pregnant) This song is by K'naan: "Born in Somalia, K'naan spent his childhood in Mogadishu and lived there during the Somali Civil War, which began in 1991. When he was 13, K'naan, his mother, and his three siblings left their homeland and eventually settled in Toronto."(wiki) This song was the offical 2010 World Cup anthem and was bought by Coca Cola. It was huge (again how did I miss it?) Please take three minutes to listen to it here (I know the time count says it's five but the song ends at around three.) I just think this is such a beautiful, powerful song - the music is fantastic and those words "when i am older, i will be stronger, they'll call me freedom just like a waving flag" I know this is a grown man singing but those words seem as though they come from a young boy or girl who knows they've been wronged, knows that things should be better for them and believes with the strength of that chorus that one day they will be old enough to fight back, to make things right and to bring freedom to the others who he/she knows is suffering alongside them. When I think of all the children around the world who do suffer I hope a song like this plays in their hearts.